Reasons-why-people-afraid-to-love

“Two things scare me. The first is getting hurt. But that’s not nearly as scary as the second, which is losing.” -Lance Armstrong

“Sometimes it’s not that there is no one who loves you, but it is you who doesn’t want to be loved.” -Manish Kumar

Many people especially teenagers can relate to this problem, that they are afraid of being loved or to love someone. Maybe it’s because of their heart-breaking past, or maybe it’s the overthinking about their future. But they feel it difficult or get afraid to love.

Well, however, it may be better in some concern or in some special scenario. But in general, it almost ruins their happiness, communication skills, their behavior and so on. This is because people who often face this problem are so likely to want to live alone and they get used to it.

It’s not a bad thing to live alone, but think about it, how will you going to interact with others if you always live alone.

So, in this post, I will talk about 5 of those major reasons which are forcing you to stay away from love and I will also give some tips to overcome this situation.

Let’s get started:

1. Fear of Heartbreak.

The most common reason that is forcing you to hate love is fear of heartbreak. I know you have seen the worst past and have faced many things. Some may have broken your heart and have left you. But you should ask yourself this one simple question, “are all people the same?”

I mean if you think all are same, then keep it in mind, you too get included in the “all” people.

There are some people who are kind, there are some who are the worst. All you’ve to do is to see the difference between these two. And how can you do it?

“See their actions, not their words.”

Well, anyone can say nice things, but you should see their actions instead of their words.

2. Fear of breaking Trust.

This short 5 letter word is a feeling in itself.

Another most common reason why most people are afraid to love I see in today’s world is, they are afraid that someone will break their trust. Maybe someone has done it in their past that they are afraid of it now, or maybe they are just afraid of getting hurt.

Whatever the reason is, it forces them to stay in fear of love.

Well, so how can one overcome it?

I will not say that you should trust every single person completely and blindly. 
After all, I will never say that you should trust someone blindly. But instead, you should trust those who are trustworthy.

And how can you find such people?

As I have told you in above point, you should notice their action, not their words. If they are making efforts for you, they might be trustworthy.

One more thing, he/she is not your ex or the one who has broken your trust. All are not the same and you should keep it in mind.

3. Overthinking.

Seriously, I have tired of saying it all the time. This is not just a common reason why people are afraid to love, but this is the reason for our countless problems in life.

Overthinking is the art of creating problems that don’t even exist there. 
Nowadays, most people think too much about their future happenings. They try to predict their future and in this process, they end up thinking about those things which will never come into their lives.

Firstly, they start thinking about some small negative things, and then after a time, they end up in a whole different world and create problems that don’t even exist in the real world.

So, how can one stop overthinking?

Here is an article that I have written before How to Stop Overthinking This will surely help you to overcome this situation.

4. Fear of losing someone.

Another reason why most people are afraid of love is they are afraid of losing someone. Well, being abandoned is a common fear among most people. It’s natural that within the excitement of falling in love, you also think about the other side of your relationship, that is losing.

And for many people, this fear is so great that instead of falling in love, they chose to leave and refuse the love.

Well, in my opinions, this isn’t a big problem. I mean if you really think about it, this is kinda natural. I mean we all have a fear of losing things or someone we love. But tell me one thing.

You’re afraid of losing your phone or of breaking it down. But this isn’t mean that you should not even buy a phone.

Think about it and I think this simple thing will surely help you to overcome this reason.

5. Fear of repeating the past.

Most people are afraid to love is because they fear that their past may get repeated. I mean they might have seen something bad in their past and that’s why they don’t wanna repeat it again. And this fear of repeating past is so strong that they don’t wanna love someone or even don’t want to be loved by anyone.

Well, I can understand why you don’t want to repeat that again, but the thing is who said you that the past will repeat? I mean you can’t predict your future unless you’re making it by yourself. And I think you’re not making it in the same way you did before.

You have not trusted the same guy/girl whom you have trusted in the past. So, how you can say that the things will repeat exact same. I mean if things go exact same, then it’s probably your fault, not the one whom you’ve trusted or had faith in.

Think about it.


Give these tips a shot and let me know in the comment section below how these work for you. And please do share it with your friends or family whom you think should need to read this.

Thank you,

xoxo
How-to-Stop-Getting-Distracted

Nowadays, most of the people didn’t succeed in their lives because they didn’t put their 100% in their work. They work for a day, or two, or maybe a week. And after that they get distracted.

It may be some other work, maybe their love life, or maybe something else that distracts them. I think you can too relate to it. But what if I told you that this isn’t the point what distracts you, but the real point is why you allow those things to enter in your life?

Didn’t get it? I will clear this thing out in this article and also tell you how to stop getting distracted.

So, first let’s talk about how you get distracted by things or people around you.

Well, what if I told you that it’s not the things or people around you which distracts you, do you believe me?

Believe me or not, but this is true.

I have found that even when we have the best people around us or the best situations, we still get distracted. So, I’m sure it’s nothing to do with the bad situations or toxic people around us.

So, what’s the real thing which distracts us?

Well, it’s you.

Wait, what?

Me?

Yeah! You.

Your mindset is the thing which keeps you distracted from your goals or work. It seeks for the pleasure or happiness and in this process, it tries to keep us away from the things that take hard work or efforts.

Still didn’t get it?

Let me clear it for you.

Have you ever think that how you can spend hours on your smartphone without getting tired and how you easily get tired if you’ve to type an article or have to do some kinda work on that same device?

That’s the thing which keeps us distracted from our work and forces us to do some effortless things.

So, what is it?

It’s your mindset. Well, believe it or not, but it’s all about the mindset.

Just think about it, you said that there are some shitty people around you or situations are against you which distracts you. But think, if you didn’t let those things or people to enter in your life, then how the hell they can distract you?

So, it somehow just all about the mindset and it all because of you. 

Because it’s you who let those things or people to allow to enter in your life, then that’s how they distract you!

So, next time instead of making excuses about bad people or worst situations, keep it in mind, it’s not the people or situations around you which distracts you. But it’s you who let those things to enter in your life to distract you.

How you can stop getting distracted?

Well, you just have to do one simple thing, that is to take care of your mindset and your thoughts. Instead of running away from work, chase your dreams and hustle all day, every day.

Instead of seeking short-term pleasure, work today and seek long-term or you can say lifetime pleasure.

There’s no magic trick behind it or there’s no magic spell behind it that you just say and everything will come into place. You have to work for it. You have to train your mind. You have to commit to your work and that’s how you’ll get succeed here.

Keep it in mind, “You can’t just blame people or things around you for your distractions.”

How to Declutter Your Mind

“A mind which is filled with thousands of unnecessary thoughts is an enemy itself.”

We live an era where overthinking is one of the most common problems in every other person. Didn’t want to brag but I too used to be a victim of this poison. I used to overthink about every other thing, and believe me, this thing literally has killed me from inside.

Well, so you might be wondering how the heck I get rid of this poison and being able to declutter my mind. Didn’t want to brag about myself, but the day after I stopped overthinking and have decluttered my mind from all those unnecessary thoughts, I started living a positive happy life.

Now, I didn’t overthink about unnecessary things and just do whatever the heck I want to. Well, this isn't just helping me to live a happy life but it is also helping me in my career area too.

So, do you too want to live a positive happy life and want to declutter your mind from all those unnecessary thoughts? Do you too want to be a Jedi and want to control your mind?

Well, read this post, and you’ll able to do so. In this post, I will tell you those 5 things which I do personally to declutter my mind. So, let’s get started:

1. Living life as it is your last day.


Whenever you’re overthinking or you can say over-worrying about some stupid small thing, just think once, would you really care about it if it was your last day of life!

Well, this simple saying can affect your mentality a lot. It will help you to stop overthinking about small stupid things.

Don’t believe me?

Try it on your own, then you’ll gonna realize it.

2. Distance yourself from toxic people.


You’ll not go to live a happy life you’re mentally connected with toxic or you can say, negative people. If you really want to live a positive happy life, then you should have to stay away from them.

If you can’t stay away from them physically, then try to stay away from them mentally. When you do so, you’ll see yourself that how your life change.

“Toxic people are one of the major reason for a negative life.”

You should also read this post: How to Distance Yourself From Negative People and Thoughts

3. Get clear on your priorities.


You need to be clear about your priorities. In order to set your priorities, write things down which you think are important to you and will benefit you. Make a list and prioritize things according to your needs.

Now, evaluate things which stand between you and your priorities, and think once, is it worth compromising on what matter most?

This simple trick will help you to declutter your mind and will make you more focused towards your work

4. Let go.


If you have read my previous post on letting go, then you’ll know how letting goes helps us. Not only in becoming happy and living a happy life, but also in decluttering our mind and to stay focused.

Letting go doesn’t mean that you just gave up on every single thing and people. But, after a certain period, there comes a time when you need to let go. You need to understand it.

Here is an article I have written before which will help you to understand it and will also help you in letting go: 7 Signs it's Time to Let Go

5. Rethink about your sleep.


Well, sometimes it just enough sleeps that we are not getting which results in depression, confusion, and many more toxic things. So, instead of just worrying too much, rethink about your sleep.

It doesn’t mean that you should change your whole sleeping pattern, but just rethink it. Find out how much sleep you’re lacking and fill it up.

Well, if you’re facing Sleep Paralysis, then you should check out my book: Sleep Paralysis: Fighting with Dreams It will help you to overcome your sleep paralysis.

Conclusion:


If you really want to declutter your mind you need to change some habits in your life. You must have to change your mindset. When you change your mindset you’ll see how your life changes completely.

“It’s not about how good your life is, it’s about how good you make it.”

Stay away from all those toxic things which create problems in your head that don’t even exists in the real world. Get clear about your priorities and let go all unnecessary things. And after all the work, get proper sleep.

These simple change in your habits can bring huge changes your life. Give these a shot and let me know how it works for you in the comment section below.

And do share it if you like it.


How-to-start-a-blog

You want to start a blog. But the thing is you don’t know how to do it. You didn’t even have any specific knowledge about any field like finance, photoshop, etc. You just want to help others with their daily life problems and want to share your thoughts.

Well, if this is you, then don’t you worry. It doesn’t matter if you’re completely clueless about this blogging thing. After reading this guide, you’ll be able to make a beautiful and effective blog on your own.

And you know what’s the best part of having your own blog is? You can even make money from it.

Yes! You read it right. You can even make money from it. Isn’t it sounds interesting that just by helping others and doing what you love you can even get paid?

Well, this is true though. You can make money, but the thing is, it will take a lot of time and efforts to make a really handsome amount of money from a new blog.

But don’t you worry, I will make everything clear to you in this guide.
So, let’s dive into it.

#1 Step: Choose the Niche.

Before getting started and creating a blog, first of all, you have to choose a niche for your blog. Do you know what the heck is a niche?

Well, a niche is basically the subject or topic on which you’ll make your blog. You can create a blog around any niche (in which you’re interested) but in this guide, we will specifically talk about the personal development niche.

Another thing, many newbies take personal development niche as all wrong. They think they can publish some inspiring stuff and that will work like charm. But this is not how it works.

Personal development niche is pretty big in itself. You have to narrow down it to a specific topic, and then have to create content around it.

For example, in personal development niche, there is health and fitness sub-niche, there is quotes sub-niche, there are daily-life problems sub-niche, and so on. I think you’ve got an idea about how big this niche is. So, first thing first, you need to narrow down it and have to create content around that sub-niche.

This will make you an authority in that niche and if in future you would publish your own products or services, people will more likely to buy that. Because they know you are a trusted person in that niche.

So, choose a niche and then narrow down it according to your knowledge and passion is very important.

#2 Step: Choosing a domain name.

After choosing your niche, the next step is to choose a domain name for your blog. Well, let me guess, you don’t know what the heck is domain name right?

Let me clear it. Domain name is basically the name of your blog/brand by which people will going to remember you and can reach up to you. Just like, www.shutdemall.com is my domain name and I have registered it.

In simple words, the address of your blog, by which people can reach up to you is your domain name.

You should choose a name that fits up to your blog and which defines your blog. A domain name should be easy to remember and easy to type.

Bonus tip: Avoid using a domain name which has symbols in it. It’s really a headache to type such domain.

You can get your first domain on GoDaddy.com for a very low rate. I too have purchased my domain name from them and didn’t have face any problem as far.

#3 Step: Buy a good web-hosting.

After purchasing a good and simple domain name for your blog, the next step is to purchase a good web-hosting. Well, let me guess again. You didn’t know what is web-hosting, right?

Well, don’t worry. I will make it clear to you. Web-hosting is the server on which your site/blog will run. Understand it in a way that, a domain name is the name of your brand and web-hosting is the building in which you will operate your business.

You need both in order to run a successful business, right!

Before purchasing any web-hosting, you should have to keep it in mind that how much traffic that hosting can handle. Well, in starting your blog will not get that much traffic, but after some couple of months, you’ll going to get a handsome amount of traffic. So, if you buy a poor and low-quality web hosting your site will keep crashing and you’ll lose traffic as well as readers too.

Well, there are tons of hosting companies available in the market. So, which one should you choose?

I highly recommend you to go for Bluehost web-hosting, it’s the most trusted and widely used hosting across the world. Bloggers like Neil Patel, Brian Dean, Harsh Agarwal too use it.

So, you can simply say that it’s the most trusted and high-quality web-hosting available in the market.

Bonus tip: You can purchase Bluehost web-hosting on a special discount from here: Special Discount on Bluehost Web-Hosting

#4 Step: Link the domain and install WordPress on your hosting server.

Now the things get little tricky here. But don’t get frustrated, after all, I am here to help you.

To link the Domain to your hosting server you need to change the DNS and Nameservers of the domain. You can do that in the management domain section.

If you have purchased your domain from GoDaddy, you can go to your account and then head over to my domain section. And then choose that domain which you want to connect. After that, look up for manage domain option and there you’ll see the option of Nameservers and DNS. You have to change them according to your hosting server DNS.

And after linking the domain to your hosting the next step is to install WordPress on your hosting server.

Well, if you have purchased hosting from Bluehost then it is just a one-click process. Bluehost gives you the option of installing WordPress on just one single click. (That’s another reason why I recommend you buy Bluehost hosting.)

Whether if you have purchased hosting from other sites, you have to go to your cPanel and from there you can install WordPress.

Well, if you still didn’t get these instructions, here is a video tutorial that will help you to do so.



#5 Step: Choose a simple and good-looking theme/template for your blog.

Well, there are tons of free templates available in the market for WordPress sites. You can pick one which meets your requirements. However, if you are confused with what theme you should choose or what design you should go for, then I recommend you take a look at these blogs: positivity blog, the minimalists, jamesclear, Mark Manson.

These are all very successful blogs in personal development niche. You can take inspiration from these blogs and can set up your blog too.

Pro Tip: Do choose a theme which is clean and user-friendly.

After choosing the perfect theme, you need to customize it and make some major changes. Well, don’t get panic. In WordPress, it doesn’t require any coding knowledge, it can be done by just simply drag and drop.

You’ll find it easy too when you do it yourself.

#6 Step: Write informative and useful articles.

Well, it doesn’t matter how good your site looks. If you have shitty content in it then nobody gonna come to your blog.

So, if you want to attract readers to your blog then, the next step is to write rich quality and informative posts which helps the readers in some way. In personal development niche, almost every newbie writes articles about some kinda inspirational stuff and all. But the thing is it won’t work.

Yeah, it will give your audience a little motivation, but if you want to become an authority in your niche and want those visitors to become your regular reader, you need to answer their major life problems. Write content mainly about improving their skills or solving their problems in some kinda way. This will work like a charm, believe me.

Yeah, you can write those inspirational kinda articles, but people won’t gonna look up on google for them. They look up for google to get a solution for their problems. Think in this way, and write articles around those problems, so that people will find you through google too.

These types of articles will also gonna help you for the long run and especially if you want to make some money from your blog. You can make your own products or can recommend other’s products to your reader which will solve some of their problems.

#Final Step: Spread out the word.

Well, first of all, congratulations! You’ve successfully created your own blog and have written some valuable content.

Now, here comes the final step and you can say a never-ending step.
You’ve to spread out the word.

Well, if you have thought that people will gonna come and see your blog just because you’ve great content on your blog, then you’re totally wrong. This will not work in this way. Especially, this blogging thing. You have to spread out the word on yourself.

Share your blog with your family, friends and tell them to share it with their friends and so on.

You should have to create a social media presence and have to build your brand on social media too. SEO will take a lot of time to get decent traffic and to rank posts. So, till then, you should rely on social media and get the most of it.

I can speak about it all day, but this would go off topic. So, you should read this article: Social Media Branding: Tips to Grow Your Brand on Social Media

And if you want to get most of your social media accounts then you can buy this online course from Udemy: The Complete Digital Marketing Course - 12 Courses in 1 It will help you to master the social media.

Still, if you want me to make a sperate post on how to get traffic to your blog, let me know in the comment section below, I will definitely make one.

So, this is it. Hope it helps you. If you still have any queries or problems, you can ask me at Instagram at @notmanishkumar or you can just simply write down a comment below.

Happy Blogging.

See you soon.

Manish Kumar.


Top 10 Most Inspiring Gary Vaynerchuk Quotes

Gary Vaynerchuk is one of those successful entrepreneurs who has proved it that age is just a number. He is now 42 years old and still scaling up his business and growing on social media.

He has over 3 million followers on Instagram only. That is a huge number right!

Apart from these achievements he has been featured in many leading magazines and websites like Forbes, Entrepreneur, Inc, Foundr and so on.

He too has a YouTube channel where he has over 1 million subscribers.

The main thing I love about him is his words and his way of talking. He doesn’t give a shit about anyone and just gives out a pure knowledge.

Well, if you take a look at his Instagram profile he is mainly known for posting cool and inspiring quotes. So, today in this post, I will talk about his 10 most inspiring quotes.

Top 10 Most Inspiring Quotes of Gary Vaynerchuk:


1. “When you know exactly who you are, you put zero weight into anyone’s opinions.”



2. “Forget yesterday. Last week, last month, that girl, that boy, that boss, that time... Let’s fucking go.”

3. “Learn to love rejection and you will find the unlock to winning.”

4. “Always pay attention to the person that is giving the advice, not the advice.”

5. “I choose optimism because if I choose to be pessimistic, it’s over before it starts.”

6. “It’s simple, be a good person and good things happen.”

7. “I think people struggle with being very real with themselves.”

8. “Fuck yesterday. Don’t dwell on it… understand it, learn from it but don’t over-respect it and allow it to affect tomorrow negatively.”

9. “It’s more important to learn and fail than it is to always be right.”

10. “There’s only one story, yours.”


Let me know which one of these do you like the most in the comment section below.